How To Bring Back That magic Spark In Your Relationship

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If you’re in a long-term relationship and have been for many years, you may have noticed your partner doesn’t pay enough attention to you or is not as romantic or spontaneous as before. So what are you supposed to do after a long work week, chasing the kids and all the hectic daily life moments you have? You’re exhausted and the last thing on either of your minds is getting your ‘sexy on’.

Looking for little moments to show your partner how much you love and appreciate them doesn’t have to take a lot of money or time.

  • Everyone buys gas for their vehicles at least once a week, so when paying slip in one of those prepackaged single red roses near the check-out register. For as little as an extra dollar or two, you can give this to your partner ‘just because’. After all, do we really need a holiday or birthday as an excuse to buy a rose?
  • Date night doesn’t have to be a dinner out. Bring home the meal or take-out, set the table with candles and lower the lights; after the kids have gone to bed, of course. And to make the night complete, offer to help with the clean up, or give your partner the night off and you do it.
  • Give your partner an unexpected back massage. But don’t stop there, rub his or her feet, legs- make it an all over body massage. Nothing helps wash away the day or week’s stress like a relaxing massage. And you never know, it may lead to more.
  • Bring the kitchen into the mix. Have a blindfolded taste testing. Use fruit, whipped toppings (plain and flavored), chocolate covered pretzels, or whatever your partner’s desire (favorite foods) are. Whisper ‘sweet nothings’ as you feed each other.
  • Share a bath or showering together can be fun and really adds a sensuality to any relationship. But inside of just a joined bubble bath or washing each other’s backs- have some fun with it. Buy children’s ‘painting soaps’ and draw on it other. Maybe draw circles on your own body were your partner should be paying more attention to. Not only is this fun, but it helps each of you to know what turns the other person on.
  • Do your own ‘where we first met scavenger hunt’. Over the years you have shared some great memories and this may take a lot of planning, help and preparation but in the end it will all be worth it. Have four or five little ‘stops’ and clues with the final location being where you first met. At that location have a picnic prepared, a special meal or whatever the location calls for.
  • Buy a variety of specialty cheeses, deli meats, crackers and maybe two different wines. Set up a cheese and wine table and share the stress of the day; sometimes just talking to reconnect will open up the flood gates to more intimacy.
  • Put together a lunch (all your partners favorite foods) and/or a work survival box and deliver it to his or her office. Make sure all the items are appropriate. Having a delivery at work, being the envy of others in the office, will definitely make your partner feel appreciated and more than likely they will reciprocate at home.

All these are simple ways that anyone can add some variety to their normally hectic days. It reminds you why you fell in love with your partner and should lend a helping hand with spicing up the romance and bedroom.

More Reasons Why Online Dating Is Pretty Awesome

Love-is-the-answer-but-while-youre-waiting-for-the-answer-sex-raises-some-pretty-good-questions.-—-Woody-Allen

At some point in their life most people will seek a relationship from an online dating site. The level of the relationship is entirely up to the individuals. So, what is online dating? Hooking up? Meeting a new friend? The easiest definition is the practice of searching for a romantic or sexual partner on the internet.

If you haven’t tried online dating, and are in the position in your life where this could be a possibility, then you need to know the ten reasons to love online dating. Whether you’re in the market for a long-lasting commitment or just someone to have casual sexual encounters, keep reading.

The pool is bigger

Meaning you have more potential dates available for the picking. You’re not limited to who is at the bar stool next to you. You can be a little more fastidious about whom to talk to or possibly date.

Not obligated

You can talk to whomever you choose, without having to worry about being indebted to actually meet up or talk to the person. If someone is not to your liking, then move on. Blocking someone online has become the norm and easy to do.

Being yourself comes easier

When starting a new relationship and meeting people, this opens up your world to a chance to be yourself (being a little more daring or risque) because this person doesn’t know you, or your past.

Matching up and common interests

Most online dating websites like Adult Match Maker give you the option to search for matches through mutual interests. So, do opposites attract? Or should you date someone most like you and your personality.

Exclusive candidates

For the protection of its clients, most online dating sites monitor account so they can get rid of any accounts that do not seem real or who have a history of not being so nice to other members of the dating site.

No scheduling conflicts

People are busy so by using an online dating website, you can make your own schedule of when to be available online or to meet up. Don’t feel pressured by the other party. Make your own decision.

Ease of getting acquainted

Being a client of an online dating website offers the ease of getting to really know the person ahead of time. Generally people have intuition about others he or she meets. Use your time wisely and flirt, but also maintain an adult perspective and ‘weed’ through the bad seeds.

Become more social

Using an online dating website is a perfect time to let the ‘real you’ out. Don’t shy away from being who you are. Let the other person(s) know you and all your quirks and idiosyncrasies. Best they know who you are now versus months down the line. Online dating websites offer each client the opportunity to be more of who he or she wants to be. Being more social and meeting new people can be exciting.

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Australia’s largest dating group, Giga Pty Ltd, is collaborating with Queensland University of Technology’s Behavioural Economics Department to better understand what motivates people when they search for a partner online. Independent studies such as these are crucial in helping inform policy makers and wider society as it relates to areas such as gender equality, same sex marriage, social psychology & mental health.

To take the survey and go into the draw to win up to $1500 worth of prizes, head on over to www.australiansexsurvey.com.au or click on the image below!

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Why Casual Online Dating is Actually Pretty Awesome

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Image Source Unsplash

Are you still on the fence about whether or not to try online dating? Well we’ve got 10 reasons why casual online dating is actually pretty awesome.

1.       You can organise hook ups in the comfort of your own home.

Online dating is perfect if you enjoy casual dating or casual sex but don’t want your friends to see you going home with a different person every time. It’s the perfect way to meet like-minded people in the comfort of your own home. You can arrange to hook up with as many people as you want and your friends and family will be none the wiser.

2.       It’s easier to make a good first impression. 

Have you ever approached someone you’re interested in only to make a complete fool of yourself because you were so nervous? Well there is no chance of that happening when you approach someone online. You have the luxury of being able to take the time to write something that presents yourself in the best light so your potential interest can get to know a bit about the real you.

3.       It’s easy to find people who share the same interests and fetishes as you. 

Fetishes and sexual fantasies are probably not the kind of conversations that will come up on your first date with someone you met at the local coffee shop. With online dating you can actually search for people in your area by their fetish which means you can cut the boring small talk and get right to the fun part!

4.       It takes the awkwardness out of approaching someone at the bar. 

Approaching a hottie in public can be very scary and it’s hard to know if they’re actually single or looking to hook up with someone else. Whereas with casual online dating you know that people are online because they want to hook up. Plus sending a wink or message to a member online is way less daunting than approaching someone in public.

5.       It also takes the awkwardness out of telling someone you’re not interested in them. 

Being approached by a drunk guy in a bar can often be uncomfortable and they sometimes don’t get the hint. At least when you’re online you can politely let the person know you are not interested and move onto chatting with people you are interested in.

6.       If it doesn’t work out with someone you can easily jump online and find someone else to hook up with.

Have you ever had a friend set you up with one of their good friends or had a drunk hook up with someone from your friendship circle? Only to have it turn out that you are not a good fit, making all social events after that completely awkward? Well the beauty of dating online is if it doesn’t work out with one person you can move onto someone else and you can still attend all your social gatherings without any awkwardness.

7.       It’s the perfect place to experiment. 

Have you ever thought of experimenting with a couple or someone of the same sex but don’t know what to do or where to start? Well, a site like Adult Match Maker is the perfect place to find people who are more experienced to teach you a thing or two and help you satisfy your curiosity.

8.       It’s a great way to meet new people and open yourself up to new friendship groups. 

So let’s face it, you’re not going to have sexual chemistry with every person you meet up with but that’s not to say you can’t become lifelong friends!

9.       It gives you confidence and it’s fun. 

When you first start meeting up with people you meet online it can be a little nerve-wracking, however, once you get that first meet up out of the way you’re likely to feel more confident in yourself and in meeting new people.

10.   Casual dating could lead to you meeting the love of your life. 

There are so many people who have met through a casual dating site like Adult Match Maker with the intention of only hooking up. Then a few weeks or months down the track they find they have actually fallen in love. Many have even got married, you can read some great testimonials here.

Once a Cheater, Always a … ?

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If you met someone today who you knew had a history of cheating in the past, how confident would you be taking him into your future?

Conversations about cheating are a hot topic this week after Beyoncé recently released her album ‘Lemonade’ which in turn has provoked  imaginations to run wild with speculation surrounding her husband Jay Z’s alleged infidelity and whether ‘becky with the good hair’ is real or fictional. Perhaps we will never know the truth, but I can tell you with absolute certainty, whilst I am a becky with reasonably good hair (at times)…it’s wasn’t me 😉 (Like you really had any doubt).

In 2016 when we talk about the term ‘Cheating’ it is far more complicated then back in the day when it typically meant a roll in the hay. Our definition of cheating has changed because our way of life has changed, and there are far more ways in which men and women can ‘cheat’. For some, the ‘cheating’ line is drawn the moment a partner is attracted to someone else. Their thought, their desire, a smile, a conversation with someone else is considered emotional cheating and the damage has already been done. For others it might be an intention to cheat in texts, phone calls or chatting online and for the rest, the line is crossed when something physical occurs.

Whatever a persons definition might be, we know men and women do cheat, so are we just setting ourselves up for heartache in the future by dating someone with a history of cheating or can a leopard sometimes change its spots? Surely it’s fair to ask yourself, if he has done it before, will he do it again?

Over the years I have heard and read about famous sports people and celebrities who cheat on their partners and whilst some stay together and some don’t, it seems to rarely affect their popularity and in some cases even increases it. It’s almost like there is some underlying competition to want to be ‘the one’ they choose not to cheat on. I mean, I have heard of some women that are attracted to bad boys, and women who like a man that needs a little fixing, but surely if our resume is a reflection of one’s past working history and gives insight for our future potential, doesn’t ones past cheating history give us a pretty clear picture about what heartache might lie ahead?

But…Isn’t life all about ‘forgive and forget’? Perhaps there are sets of circumstances where you think that cheating is excusable.  For example does the age you were when you cheated on someone matter? Can we blame immaturity for our foolishness? In other words are we allowed a period of time in our lives to make bad decisions and move on without having to hang our heads in shame forever and be voted off the ‘decent people’ island?

As the years go on we are sure to see technology provide even more ways to make cheating easier, lets just hope that common sense prevails and for those that have cheated, we can only hope whether they were caught or not, they acknowledge their cheating mistake and for the sake of many hearts don’t continue to make them again in the future.

How important is ‘Chemistry’ when it comes to Love?

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When you hear the word chemistry, you’d be forgiven for thinking it was just a science subject you took back in school where you heated up your bunsen burners to mix colourful liquids together that would quite often end in an exciting ‘boom’ and puff of smoke. So, when it comes to love, can we hold the same expectations when we meet ‘the one’? And if we don’t feel this ‘chemistry’ that people refer to as fireworks and undeniable attraction is there any real point in a second date or is there a chance those fireworks can come overtime?

Like many others, I have been tuning into Channel 9’s second season of “Married at first sight”, fascinated at the prospect that eight individual people who have had little luck at finding love, courageously hand over the choosing to a handful of relationship experts to do the job, and consequently meet their husband or wife for the first time at the altar. Whilst these couples are reportedly matched together based on techniques surrounding neuroscience and psychology, it seems what may very well be the perfect guy or girl on paper, is not necessarily the right one in reality. The one ingredient these experts or anyone can never really predict is this ‘chemistry’ that either exists or doesn’t exist between two people.

As I watched the lovely Christie from Sydney, walk down the aisle with her beautiful bouquet in one hand and the likely expectations of meeting the man she has pictured all of her 39 years in the other, I couldn’t help but think, this man is lucky the wedding ceremony is on a floating pontoon, otherwise we may see a re-run of runaway bride! But it appears the lack of initial chemistry from her part wasn’t quite enough to send the beauty jumping overboard in the harbour, leaving the sweet, caring, down to earth farmer Mark (who we give 10 points for his joke telling but who has questionable dance moves) time to try and win her over.

For Jono and Clare, their fate seemed sealed as soon as Jono looked at the beautiful Clare walking down the aisle and later reveals, ‘she isn’t what he ordered’, as if sitting down to dinner and being handed the lamb and not the chicken. Despite being seemingly similar like an old pair of friends (who bickered at times), it seems that lack of initial chemistry was always going to work against them.

Why do we do this to ourselves? I know it’s nice to imagine, dream even, of what our future partner might look like, what they might do for work, and where they might live, but surely we are just setting ourselves up for a huge disappointment if we cement that idea down and don’t leave ourselves a little open minded when on our search? I mean, blonde hair, brunette hair, ever heard of hairdressers? Same with body shapes… some women have babies and that’s part of life…and location, how many people live in the same suburb their entire life? People can move too!

So is chemistry all it’s cracked up to be? Well, who doesn’t love the butterflies in your stomach, ‘desire to know all about you’ feeling you get when meeting someone for the first time, but like anything to do with fireworks and sparks, it might be fantastic while it’s happening, but those crazy I need to know everything about you flames don’t always last forever, but if they don’t exist to begin with, only you yourself will know if he or she is worth trying to create one with.

5 Delicious Reasons Why Women Want a Manu on Their Menu

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Image source manufeildelofficial instagram

Back from the break and the young doting ‘chefs to be’ are anxiously awaiting the arrival of the mystery guest chef, who when he walks through the door they all near faint to the floor as if Elvis himself has been resurrected and is back in time for dessert.

Whether you think that’s a little ‘overkill’ or not, it seems fair to suggest by the success in ratings, Aussies just can’t get enough of some of our much loved cooking reality shows like My Kitchen Rules, MasterChef and Great Australian Bake Off. But is it the cooking alone we love to watch or is it the chefs we are tuning in for?

Several weeks into the 7th season of MKR, I cannot help but notice the insane attention that the French born chef Manu Feildel continues to receive from the contestants and fans despite the fact that we know he is well and truly ‘off the market’. I mean, there is no doubt that this man is a tall, handsome glass of french champagne, but what exactly is it that makes women (and men) want a little Manu on their Menu.

  • Charm: It all begins with a delightful double cheeked kiss as a little appetiser. I mean, this man is oozing charm with his cool as a cucumber walk, cheeky smile and down to earth personality.
  • Well-Travelled: Whether you yourself have seen many beautiful corners of the world (google earth doesn’t count), or whether you have only dreamt about it, you can really appreciate a partner who is well travelled because they tend to allow themselves to ‘live in the moment’ and enjoy life, they learn patience and adjust to changes in cultures and experiences. When we look at Manu, we can only imagine what fascinating stories he could indulge us with over a glass of red.
  • Okay, okay, I can almost hear you all screaming from here…The accent!!! It’s the accent!!! That scrumptious French accent…and I could not agree more. Usually when I hear the word ‘sauce’ it’s in the form of my young children yelling out at me because I have forgotten to put the tomato sauce out on the dining room table (how dare i). So how is it that this man when merely using the words “sauce“, crunch” and “flavour” tantalises us into frenzy? Is it the French accent specifically or do we love a man with any accent? Surely if it is the French accent alone that is responsible for this hysteria, single french men abroad would be frantically saving their Euros and buying a one way ticket to Australia? Put down those money jars men, you need all 5 ingredients for the Manu effect to take place.
  • Talent: Of all the occupations you would want you man to be…surely this is the one you want him to have ladies. A chef and a successful one at that. Surely I can’t be alone in dreading that time of the week where I need to plan my dinners for the week, make the shopping list, then jump online and search for new recipes because surely there has to be more to life than the same old Tuesday night spaghetti bol? Imagine after a long tiring day at work coming home to a perfectly cooked dinner by this man? Enough said.
  • A man who loves his mumma: Now there is a very big difference between a mummas boy and a man who loves his mumma and we want the latter. Who doesn’t love a man who respects and appreciates his mum.

Now, if only a restaurant had a menu like this…

9 Funny Relationship Quotes

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“Love is the answer, but while you’re waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions.” — Woody Allen

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“Love thy neighbor — and if he happens to be tall, debonair and devastating, it will be that much easier” – Mae West

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“You can’t put a price tag on love. But if you could, I’d wait for it to go on sale.” — Hussein Nishah

“A guy knows he’s in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days.” – Tim Allen

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“A youth with his first cigar makes himself sick. A youth with his first girl makes everybody sick.” – Mary Wilson

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“Honesty is the key to a relationship. If you can fake that, you’re in.” — Richard Jeni

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“If love is the answer, could you rephrase the questions?” – Lily Tomlin

“Love is grand; divorce is a hundred grand.” — Unknown

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“Honesty is the key to a relationship. If you can fake that, you’re in.” — Richard Jeni

Fantasising: The Forbidden Pleasure

Sexy couple in romantic pose

“Oh baby I like the way you …” and then it happens. The mind has left the room, and some other face has replaced the one under you. Familiar anyone? Maybe you’ve experienced the slight guilty feeling, or the “what he doesn’t know can’t hurt him” shrug.

Fantasising about someone else while having sex with the significant other; this intrigued me. Curious, I started a discussion with my friends on the subject. Here’s how it went.

KP: “It’s natural to have thoughts of someone else. Just the fact that you’ve had better. Your mind will wonder”

JN: “Based on general principle, that’s gross disrespect to ones’ partner in my opinion. And it shows that there is something wrong in the relationship. Especially if its the woman who doesn’t have a desire towards her husband. I personally think its wrong.”

WT: “Not necessarily, it’s not deliberate. And that does not mean she doesn’t have the desire for her husband. It’s like subconscious or something. I do agree that it is disrespectful if it’s a constant thing.”

LC: “So then what’s the difference between that and masturbating? I guess that should be disrespectful too”

MP: “Wait! So does that make fantasising OK if it’s natural? That just leads to cheating on your partner. Cheating does not happen over night.”

The discussion had me thinking. Was fantasizing acceptable? And what would determine that?

Let’s put this into perspective. Why would anyone be thinking about someone else while having sex with their partner, in the first place?

  • Boring sex
  • In love with somewhere else
  • Cheating

All of these can be mended. You need better sex. Teach your partner what works for you. Note I said teach, so be ready to demonstrate and get feedback. It’s proven to improve couple intimacy.

If you want to be with someone else. Then why aren’t you? Unless you or other person is married. Be with the person you love, and have a deep connection with, so you don’t have to deal with the “if only”.

A cheater can stop cheating. This is a great way to exercise your will power. All bad habits and behavior can be overcome if you truly want to change. First, you need to be honest with yourself and admit you are a cheater, or that you have the cheating mindset. Own up to it, and make practical changes. Get counselling if your have to, and stay committed to your new choices. Or even better see if your partner is open to trying new things in the bedroom like adding in another person or even a couple.

It all boils down to what principles governor your relationship. Honesty, trust or anything goes. If you want a happy, successful relationship. The decision starts with you. You must be an honest and trustworthy person if you expect that from your partner. Be consistent with your standards. You wouldn’t want him fantasising about his ex while with you, so live by principle.

Thinking about someone else while having sex with your partner will only encourage you to be unfaithful. So instead of entertaining these thoughts; find out why you are having them. Dig to the root of the issue and work on it. So the next time things get heated and you begin to moan “Oh baby I like the way you…” your mind will actually be in the right place.

 

Office Space: Dealing With a Workplace Romance

Young sexy woman shows a leg for business man at desk

We’ve all seen them, maybe been involved in one, but how do you professionally deal with an inter-office romance? In the beginning, the excitement and thrills are present, but how do you handle the relationship as it endures, and then, how do you deal with a break-up?

Commencing the relationship– You’ve been flirting with your co-worker, and subtle little hints have been noticed. The extra attention he pays to your schedule. All the times she brought you a coffee without being asked. The ‘chance’ coming together daily in the lunchroom or in the copy area. You have been ‘eyeing’ each other for days, weeks or maybe months. You feel the physical energy, and you’re sure the other person is experiencing it also, so what do you do?
Enjoy the company, the attention and, as long as neither of you are involved in another relationship, strike up a more personal conversation.  Keep it simple at first to get the vibe of the other person’s notion of where this relationship is heading. If at anytime you feel an awkwardness or uncomfortable ambiance, inform the other person of your intentions and that you would like to remain friends. Don’t go down a path you are unsure, or uneasy, about.

Taking the next step- The flirting continues and the two of you decide to take things to the next level. The biggest question and concern is probably, do you make your relationship public? Some offices and workplaces have a solid policy against workplace relationships and romance. Some offices won’t even hire spouse, family members or girl/boyfriends. So before entering the relationship into a unrestricted status, check your company’s policy. Also, don’t forget, just because you don’t personally tell, or show the signs of being involved, your social media accounts and status (which co-workers and employees can possibly see) will give away the connection. So tread carefully, especially when making an update or posting the past weekend’s plans and who you were with.

Concealing the connection- When in a new relationship, all you want to do (especially women) is yell it from the mountaintops and have some girl-talk and share the romance, the sweet nothings being whispered in your ear. If you’re keeping the relation under wraps, talk to outside people away from work. If you’re open about the relationship, then share by all means. But keep the ‘behind-the-doors’ chat out of the lunchroom. Over sharing can create workplace animosity, jealousy and even termination if you misspeak in front of the boss or higher ups. So be careful about who is around the corner when you open your mouth.

The Break-Up Happens- What to do when the inter-office romance fails and the break-up is not amicable? Feelings are hurt, anger rears its ugly head and sometimes, revenge comes to surface. So how do you deal with this while trying to work and remaining calm?

Ignoring the person and situation is the best policy, but is also easier said than done. Distance yourself from the person, don’t take on projects involving the person and most importantly, don’t give into idle gossip. If the other person is speaking ill of you, disregard it. The first response is always going to be retaliation, but take the high road and be the better person. As the days go by, this advice will get easier and eventually the pain, gossip and person’s harassing words and presence will go away.