I think high school sweethearts are cliche. Don’t get me wrong, it’s amazing to meet someone in your high school years that you connect with so much that you go on to marry them and create a beautiful family. That’s rare and special for sure, but for me there’s such a strong feeling residing within myself that my twenties are meant for me to be single and alone. Yes, alone.
There’s a power that grows within you when you’re single in your twenties. You can call it a feeling or an intuition, but whatever it is I know that it’s important.
I’ve been in relationships before, great ones at that. Perfect relationships that I ended because of this feeling. It’s like an itch that I can’t scratch, a trust that I have to have with the universe that I’ll sacrifice now to reap the benefits later.
Some days a sacrifice is really what it feels like. Things can get lonely and you crave that companion to share your life with. Relationships are exhilarating and passion is something you can only wish to ever be able to fully describe with words. There are days where I wonder why I didn’t get the chance to meet my high school sweetheart and then call everything else quits…then I remember these 7 things.
I’m not sure everyone is aware of it when it happens, but when you get into a relationship something within you closes down. You’re obsessed with your new partner and you prioritize them over other experiences. I’ve done it myself and watched my friends miss out on once in a lifetime experiences because they chose to stay in with their boyfriend for a night. There’s a beauty in both sides (staying in with him for the night or going out and experiencing something special) but I strongly believe our twenties are meant for the latter. This is the prime time to be meeting new people and learning about the world and none of that can be done from the comforts of my couch.
This is finely interweaved with how natural it is to stay open to new people and experiences when you are single. When you have no where else to be, suddenly incredible places to be appear. You say yes to trips you wouldn’t have gone on without your boyfriend and you meet new people with insane connections because you were able to talk to them without feeling guilty. In my opinion the experiences that being single can bring me are tenfold of those that a relationship can bring me right now, and this is proven to me daily.
It’s a lot easier to skip out on going out to eat or spending money on tickets for two when you’re single. I’ve found that being in a relationship can be pricey, because going to dinner can add up and having to buy two tickets to the movies is expensive these days. When I’m single, my money is my money and I don’t have to worry about covering anybody else but myself and I personally love that. It’s given me the ability to save enough for a trip to Europe and multiple trips to the U.S. east coast.
My time is my time.
Ahhh, I think is my favorite part of being single. I love being in charge of my time. I have no obligations to drive to see anybody or to spend the night somewhere because it’s my turn to stay at their house. I get to sleep where I want, when I want. I get to do what I want, when I want. The freedom to live my day completely and totally for me is something special to me at this point in my life. When kids and husband come into play, I’ll be craving this time so for now I’m cherishing every second.
My choices effect me and me only
I’m kind of a ballsy woman. I packed up and moved halfway across the country because I just felt like it and I have plans to go and travel the world next year. That being said, I need to be able to make big decisions like this without thinking of the effect they’ll have on anyone else. If I was with someone right now I’d have to take their feelings and thoughts into account and I’d be accounting for them as much as I am for me. This is the time, like I said earlier, for me to do what I want, when I want. I don’t want to argue about it I want to just go out and do it. It’s nice to know that there’s no guilt behind my decisions because I’m the only one they’re really effecting.
My opinions are mine. Your twenties are about discovering yourself.
Learning and growing into the thirty year old that you’ll be. For me, I want to keep my mind to myself, allowing it to blossom without the opinion of a significant other. I want to create the habit of forming my own thoughts and opinions on subject matters. I thrive for intelligent conversations and the ability to talk politics, and I’m proud to say that everything I say is a formation of what I think and not what my significant other does. My mind has become my own, and I believe that to be one of my greatest assets.
I’ve learned to fall in love with myself.
Okay I lied, this is my favorite because everything else aside from this is what really matters. Now some people are really damn good at falling in love with themselves while in a relationship but for the rest of us, being single is necessary so that we have the openness, experiences, money, time, choices, and opinions that are vital in discovering yourself and so forth falling in love with yourself. The world would be an incredibly different place if every human had learned the importance of falling in love with themselves before anybody else. By loving yourself you create an immediate calmness within you that means you don’t fight with your friends or family, you become a genuinely nice person, and you wake up happy. You’re not afraid to stand up for yourself and what is right. Loving yourself is the root of all happiness and it is so much fun to fall in love with yourself when you’re single. It’s a learning curve and the road can be a bit bumpy, but now that I’ve learned how to love myself first and somebody else second I’m realizing exactly what love is and how to best love somebody else (when the time is right). I’ve learned the importance of listening to hear and not just to respond, that the world does not revolve around me, and that at the same time I am an important piece of the puzzle. This right here, is powerful stuff.
Let me reiterate-some people are meant to have relationships in their twenties and that’s awesome and cool within itself. This is the opinion of somebody who knows that being single in her twenties is destiny. That this time will be so much more magical if she holds off and lives for herself and only herself for the next few years.
With more of my twenties to go, I can’t fathom the growth that will come from staying single. I know my next relationships will be incredible because of all this time I have spent on myself now, but until then I’m going to sit back, relax, and have the time of my life.