“We were either going to go different ways or help each other grow to our fullest potential.”
A friend of mine told me the story of how he and his high school girlfriend decided if staying together in college was the best choice for them.
Both of them were nervous that they might be wasting some of the best times of their lives by staying together yet neither wanted to let go.
What happens when you’re questioning a relationship-not because of internal issues but because you’re scared you’re missing out?
As I talked to my friend about how he and his wife (spoiler alert) met, his words hit me like a ton of bricks.
Sometimes relationships are perfect. Maybe perfect is even an understatement. Yet we question if we are doing the right thing. Are we wasting our twenties by being in a relationship? Are we missing out on something bigger? Let’s be serious, nobody wants to FOMO.
When my friend told me that he and his (then) girlfriend sat down right before they headed to college and told each other that there were only two routes that could be taken-I realized that they had found the secret.
They had found the necessary conversation and connection that needed to be said between a couple that is wondering if being together is wrong JUST because of their current age and circumstances.
They both loved each other and neither wanted to separate but both needed to touch upon this questioning feeling-and by doing it together they did exactly what they had hoped for.
They grew together.
They’re now married and work in the same office.
By laying out the truth in their relationship during a pivotal point in their lives they were able to be free to be themselves. Their relationship was based on an honesty and truth that too many try to hide from.
When they both opened up and said, “I know that we might be missing out on something-but as long as we are each helping each other to grow upwards then this is something that is worth it to me.” they did something powerful for themselves and each other.
They put themselves first and the other second.
As they walked into their freshman year of college, they had no idea that they had just set the precedent of their relationship. This couple had created an open communication line with each other. They had looked each other in the eye and kindly said, “If this isn’t helping me reach my best potential, then we know this isn’t the right thing.”
There was no blow out fight or a single tear shed.
It made me realize the importance of this conversation for anybody in a long term relationship.
This couple showed each other that if this relationship at all held them back that it was okay with each other to walk away and with those words it brought them together.
They were able to become each other’s rock and each other’s best friend. They were able to grow together, learn together, make mistakes together, and experience life together.
It’s our job to look out for ourselves as well as those that we love. If there’s anything that life has taught me it is that by looking out for yourself YOU ARE looking out for the ones that you love. You are creating inner peace and a love within yourself that you are then able to sprinkle out into the world.
We can be straight forward and avoid all of the unnecessary conversation “spam” just by talking with our partners and creating that open communication.
When we’re honest with our partners, we can be honest with ourselves and vice versa.
I told my friend how incredible it was that at such a young age they had made such a mature decision.
He looked at me with a huge smile and said,
“She shaped me into the person I am today. That conversation ended up turning out really well.”