I seriously think that there should be paid time off of work when you go through a break up. I’m not quite sure who would regulate that but in all honesty-it’s a damn good idea.
These things can mess.you.up. I remember my last break up changed my entire life. It changed who I was as a person down to my inner most core. It changed my priorities. It changed my mentality. It changed how I viewed dating.
Some of this was for the good. It made me an insanely strong person and it made me realize that I could and would never settle for anything short of amazing. It created these standards within me that told me that I wouldn’t risk going through that again unless I knew for a damn fact that it was going to be such an insanely awesome relationship that if we broke up it would have been worth it.
On the latter, some was for the bad.
It shut my emotional faucet off. To do this day, when I try to get close to someone I feel like there’s a blinking red light inside of my head saying “WARNING! WARNING! WARNING! IS THIS REALLY WHAT YOU WANT?! DANGER ZONE!”
I don’t like this.
I feel as if this is such a negative way to approach dating. Why should I let my past relationships and my fear of going through an awful break up scare me from ever doing that again?
If we only live once, why would we stray away from a chance at connecting with someone?
Maybe it’s because we feel so strongly within us that it’s not the perfect time. Maybe we’re moving soon or are too busy to deal with dating games.
Is this worth it? Is it worth turning away from something that could be really special because our emotional baggage of having been hit by the heartbreak semi truck has full control over our dating life?
In 2017, I’m deciding no, it’s not worth it.
I’m releasing any negative connotations that I’ve created around dating and deciding that if something feels right and comes naturally then I’m okay with making time for it and letting it become whatever it was meant to become.
I’m cutting the plug on that blinking red light inside of my head that wants so badly for me to run away at the first sign of getting hurt again.
I think this life was meant to be lived and part of living is getting heartbroken. Part of living is to actually rise from the shattered ashes of a past relationship and be a stronger, more badass person than we were before. Part of living is going through this shit.
My past relationships have taught me exactly what I want in a man. They have taught me exactly what I prioritize, what stimulates me, and what makes me really like someone. I would have never known any of this if I had sworn off of dating cold turkey after my high school relationship went splat.
How can I continue to find out what I need from a long term partner if I shut myself off to any opportunity for learning?
As hard as it is to say, I’m going to risk myself to heartbreak at the expense of my future. It may seem strange to do now but in ten years when I have found exactly who I am meant to be with, I’ll realize that I would have never known how special he was if I hadn’t done the work to find out what special means to me.
It’s going to be great sometimes and it’s going to be terrible at other times but it’s all part of life and I guess inevitably love.
But seriously, can we get someone working on the whole paid time off for heartbreak type thing? There’s no better way to get over someone than with pina coladas on the beaches of Cabo ;).