Lately life has been teaching me some valuable lessons.

I’ve learned that I am the one in charge of creating the life that I want to live, that learning and growth should never stop, and that my failures are actually my biggest successes.

I spend most of my time painfully learning these lessons. I usually stumble around for a bit before I realize that life is presenting me with an opportunity to learn a new way of thinking or another way of getting what I want.

My toughest lesson lately has been my perspective on relationships. As I build my own business and I grow into the woman that I want to be, I’ve started to wonder what kind of man I’m going to end up with.

I’m hardworking, spontaneous and my fears are diminishing by the second. I’m growing stronger and more capable than I have ever been and I am starting to sense that it is going to take an even stronger man to be able to keep up with me.

Months have gone by since I have had a conversation with a man that really sparked me. You know the conversations that you have that you can’t stop thinking about for days? The people that you can text back and forth with for weeks at a time without ever running out of things to say?

I haven’t had that in quite some time and it set off an alarm in my mind.

Cue Jessie James Decker.

Clearly this girl knows what she is talking about when it comes to love. Her marriage is the epitome of goals and she’s somebody that I will listen to when she gives advice on dating and relationships.

As I started to worry about the future of my love life, I stumbled upon a video where she told an incredible story.

Jessie talked about a previous relationship with a man who treated her poorly and what happened on the plane ride home after she had finally called it quits with him.

“I pulled my computer out and I started writing a letter. I said, ‘I know my soulmate is out there and this is what I’m looking for.’ I was as specific and detailed as I could be about exactly what my soulmate was about. If you read it today I promise you, you would say to me, ‘you wrote this after you met Eric!’ I swear to you I didn’t”.

I watched the video twice to make sure that it resonated with me and then I embraced the lesson that life had just put smack dab in front of me.

If you want something, you have to put focus on it. When Jessie wrote down all of the things that she wanted in her soulmate, she shifted her focus to look for those qualities in a man. She essentially told HERSELF what it took in her mind for a man to be a qualified contender to be her husband.

Most importantly, she sent that energy out into the world.

We’re all familiar with the law of karma, what goes around comes around. When Jessie created that list of characteristics that she wished for in a man she performed the first step of karma, she put it out there.

The second step was for Eric to come knocking at her door.

As incredible of a tool as this is to use for our love lives, we can also put it into every other aspect of our lives.

If we want a certain career, lifestyle, friendship, material item, anything that we could desire-we can help bring it towards us by writing down exactly what we want from it.

Listening to Jessie give out her love advice reminded me that for years I have been writing about what type of life I wanted. I wrote that I wanted to travel and that I wanted to love the work that I did with all of my heart.

Right now, I am doing all of those things.

I have lived and proven this beautiful lesson disguised as the story of her finding her soulmate.

Sitting back now, I’m no longer scared. I know that when I’m ready I’ll make my own list of qualities that I want in a man and I’ll do my part for “karma” and send out that energy.

Sometimes our life lessons don’t have to be painful. If you want something in your life, write it down. Talk to people about what you want. Believe that it’s coming to you and then wait patiently for your very own Eric to knock on your doorstep, flowers in hand.